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May 31, 2012

Pride's Purge

(satire – I think)

Controversial plans to blast breeding pairs of peasants were abruptly dropped by the Government yesterday, 24 hours after plans by the government to cull them were extensively highlighted and criticised in The Independent.

The Wildlife Minister, Richard Benyon, a millionaire landowner and keen member of the shooting community, had sanctioned a research project to investigate how best to prevent out-of-control breeding of young peasants in the country. The plan involved destroying peasant nests – known as ‘housing estates’ – by blasting them with shotguns and removing the indigenous wildlife which lives there to other wilder regions of the country – such as Liverpool.

The reason given for the policy was to protect nearby areas which are populated with richer varieties of wildlife – especially those species most at risk of extinction such as Toffs, Tories and Snobs.

However, critics say that Mr Benyon’s agreeing to…

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